Behold, children are a gift of the Lord. Psalm 127:3
I was married to a handsome Marine when I was twenty. We had great plans and dreamed of having a big family. After five years of trying, we adopted our daughter, who was two. She was precious and I loved being her mom, so I gave up the dream of having a large family. In my late twentys , I became very ill with weight loss, and headaches. I also stopped having my periods. I was very afraid, so I saw my doctor who referred me to an endocrinologist. I was diagnosed with severe hypothyroidism and scheduled for surgery . The doctor said that I might be able to get pregnant, now. I laughed and said that was probably not going to happen. After about a year, I missed a period and felt sick , so a month later, I saw my doctor and low & behold, I was pregnant. We were elated , however at three months I began bleeding and lost the pregnancy. I was still hopeful, but couldn’t understand why, what was so easy for some women, was so hard for me. I had another miscarriage and when I was thirty-two, I was pregnant again. My doctor ordered me to bed for the first trimester and on March 27, 1981, I gave birth to a birth to a beautiful baby boy. Our daughter was so happy to have a little brother and called him her baby. They were close and we were a happy family. When my son was five, I became pregnant again. I was hopeful and every- thing seemed to go well, until the middle of the seventh month. I awoke with spotting and a low back pain, so called my doctor. He wasn’t overly concerned, and said to rest and call him if it got worse. A few hours the pain worsened, so I went to his office and he admitted me to the hospital. My baby girl was born June 11, 1986. I wanted to hold her right away, but the pediatrician said she wasn’t breathing just right, so needed an incubator. I was worried, but felt that she would be fine. God wouldn’t let anything happen to her. Later that evening she was flown to Children’s Hospital in Little Rock Arkansas, because her lungs were not working properly. Still I felt that she was in good hands, and made plans to follow her, as soon my ob doctor released me, so I could be with her. I spoke with her doctor in the Neo Natal unit of the hospital and felt encouraged. Just after l:30 am on June 13, my little girl passed away. I was heartbroken. As we made arrangements to bury her, pick out a little casket and a little gown, my anger began to build. I was so mad and blamed God for taking her away from me. During this period, I could see only my grief. I couldn’t think about my husband’s or my children’s gri ef, and I refused to speak to God. I remember, one particular day shaking my fist at the sky and asking Him, “Why” why would he give her to me only to take her away? About six months later, I was working as a store manager for a chain of women’s stores, I was outside taking a break and an older gentleman spoke with me. He asked me if I was alright, because I looked so unhappy. I broke down and told this stranger everything. I told him about my little girl and how she had been so loved and wanted. He said to me, so I hear about your grief and your unhappiness, but what about her? Don’t you know that she happy with her father in heaven. Her life is fulfilled and she will never know pain or suffering or anything like that. Be glad for her. My heart felt lighter and my anger disappeared almost right away. I think that man was sent by God to help me see that life is not what we want, but what He has planned for us. My marriage did not survive, and my husband and I divorced. I moved to Tyler in 1989 and raised my children. In 2006, I met Michael Ferguson and fell in love. After a month, he asked me to marry him, but I wanted to wait for 6 months to be sure. We chose October 7 and planned to marry in the Rose Gardens. Well, October is Rose Festival, so every time we chose was booked. We thought about the Women’s Bldg, but we still wanted an outdoor wedding. We were driving down Broadway and decided to stop at a little place called The Children’s Park. It had not occurred to us to consider that little park as a venue for our wedding. I called the city and we made plans, and on Saturday Oct. 7, 2006, we were married. After our wedding, we visited the park often. I found out about the Day of Rememberance, and now my children, grandchildren and husband make that a special day to remember Lisa Michele. We go and hang a little angel on tree, and release our butterflies and thank God that we had her for a little while.